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Uncle Scoopy's Fun House at scoopy.net is a daily internet e-zine dedicated to keeping its readers abreast and abuttock of the latest in celebrity nudity.

Having produced a new dated edition every single day since 1995, it may be the oldest continually updated blog still in existence. It's part of the Scoopy universe of sites, which includes The Movie House, French Cinema Nudity,  and Other Crap.

Most of the "Top 20" lists we have produced over the years have been formed by polls which represent the consensus view of many people who are acquainted with the major nude scenes of the previous year.

This list varies from that tradition in that it covers an entire decade, and is simply the opinion of one person, me, Greg, aka Uncle Scoopy.

My opinion is no less subjective than any of yours, but I actually have seen and written about every significant nude scene in the past ten years, and have given some thought to which ones were truly special and not just the "flavors of the day."

Overview:

The rankings from top to bottom don't mean much. I tried to include the most meritorious performances and I tried to restrict the list to major actresses (eliminating obscure films and performers like Margo Stiller in 9 Songs), so I felt pretty good about the choices on the list. Once I had the items collected, however, I had no idea how to sequence them, because it's all so subjective. You could probably reverse the order in each category and have just as good a list ...

... but it doesn't really matter, does it? It's all about finding some more beauty to admire.

Here are some choices I could have included for one category or another:

Several performances could easily have made the list but were edged out by other performances by the same actress: Emily Mortimer in Young Adam, Salma Hayek in Ask the Dust, Gretchen Mol in Forever Mine, Heather Graham in Adrift in Manhattan, Maggie Gyllenhaal in Strip Search and pretty much every other Kate Winslet movie, especially Iris.

Victoria Abril in Pour Elle, or Bryce Howard in Manderlay might have been the "most explicit" winner, but Chloe Sevigny was impossible to beat because she didn't use any doubles for her oral sex scene.

Charlotte Rampling, or maybe Diane Keaton in Something's Gotta Give, might have won the GILF award, but there was just no competing with Mimi's prolonged frontal and rear nudity in good light.

If I had made a deeper depth chart for the cable queens, it would have included Mary-Louise Parker in Angels in America and Sonya Walger on Tell Me You Love Me

Other honorable mentions have to go to: Ludivine Sagnier in La Petite Lili, Chloe Hunter in Spun (a sure top finisher with a more famous actress), Alexis Dziena in Broken Flowers, Valeria Golino in Il Sole Nero, Asia Argento in The Last Mistress, Daneel Harris in Ten Inch Hero, Charlotte Gainsbourg in Antichrist, Paz de la Huerta in The Limits of Control, and Betsy Rue in My Bloody Valentine.

For comparison or further study, you may want to consider the following list, which summarizes all of our polls for the decade.

 

Flavor of a day gone by

 

Katie Holmes in The Gift

(6.7 at IMDb)

Looking back on this scene without knowing the context, you would never guess that it was the single most popular scene in the history of our site. Unlike most of the scenes on this page, it does not feature sex or full-frontal nudity. It's just a brief nighttime topless scene from a woman who is no longer especially popular.

But in the year 2000, Katie Holmes was America's dream date and she had never taken off her top on camera. When she finally did so, her chest was so perfect that we were absolutely dazzled.

 
 
 

Cable Queens

3

Polly Walker in Rome

season 1, various episodes

(9.2 on IMDb)

She was an established actress of some reputation. She has a spectacular mature figure, and she showed it all from every angle in good light. It was a highly acclaimed series in its first year. 'Nuff said.


 

2

Alice Henley in Rome

season 2, episode 9

(9.2 on IMDb)

At the time it was aired it was the most explicit TV sex scene ever created for a non-exploitation production. It did not hold the crown long. Tell Me You Love Me came along a few months later and changed the rules completely.


 

1

Michelle Borth in Tell Me You Love Me

(7.2 at IMDb)

The scene to the right was and still remains the most explicit TV scene ever shot for a mainstream production. Michelle got naked many other times in the run of the series as well, and my guess is that her sex scenes were not faked. If they were, it was an impressive impersonation.

Whether the sex was real or just a convincing simulation, Tell Me You Love Me definitely raised the bar for adult content in legitimate cable dramas.


 
     
     
     

Broadcast TV

 

Charlotte Ross in NYPD Blue

season 10, episode 16

(7.4 at IMDb)

There's really no competition in this category. Not only is this the best nude scene in the history of network TV, and by a wide margin, but it is likely to remain so for many years, based upon the prevailing attitudes. In fact, the current climate is so puritanical that it seems hard to believe this could have happened on ABC in 2003. Or at all.


 
     
     
     

GILF

 

Mimi Rogers in The Door in the Floor

(6.8 at IMDb)

There were other sexy women of granny age, like Diane Keaton and Charlotte Rampling, who gave it all up for art or entertainment, but nobody showed it like Mimi, and nobody had as much to show.

     
     
     

Most explicit

 

Chloe Sevigny in The Brown Bunny

(4.9 at IMDb)

Oral sex performed on camera in real time in mainstream films by non-porn actresses is one of the rarest sights in the cinema. It has happened fewer than a dozen times in film history, and I can't name another instance with an established American actress.

Chloe made history in this film.

 

Film Clips Film Review Buy DVD
     
     
     

Big budget blockbusters and wannabes

4

Angelina Jolie in Original Sin

(5.6 at IMDb)

Well, they thought Original Sin might be a blockbuster. It starred Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas. Tom Jane played the villain.  It was a remake of a Truffaut classic starring Belmondo and Catherine DeNeuve. It was distributed to about 2200 theaters ...

... where it was a micro-bomb. ($16m)

Apparently not that many people were interested in watching beautiful superstars perform in soft-core porn scenes within a corny erotic thriller filled with gaping plot holes. Be that as it may, this remains probably the most explicit action ever filmed between two A-listers.

3

Rebecca Romijn in Femme Fatale

(6.3 at IMDb)

Brian DePalma directed. Banderas starred. It appeared on 1000 screens. It was barely noticed ($6m gross.) Banderas in another flop!

Was it a good idea?

It is always a good idea to have Rebecca Romijn running around stark naked.

2

Carla Gugino in Sin City

(8.4 at IMDb)

Here's a would-be blockbuster that actually pulled it off. Not only did it rake in $158m worldwide, but it is rated among the top 100 films of all time at IMDb.

That rating may be a bit exaggerated, but there's no question that Robert Rodriguez brought a comic book to life virtually unchanged, that Mickey Rourke scored an incredible comeback as Marv, and that Carla Gugino dazzled us with a bold scene that kept very little hidden.

1

Rosario Dawson in Alexander

(5.4 at IMDb)

Beautiful woman naked, great body, interesting scene ... my kind of "sword and sandals" action. Of course the movie itself was a mega-bomb. Created at a cost of $155 million, it grossed only $34m stateside and was ridiculed by critics on both sides of the Atlantic.

But I didn't hear anybody say that Rosario Dawson looked bad naked. 

     
     
     

Favorite foreign films

3

Laetitia Casta in Le Grand Appartement

(5.6 at IMDb)

Her body was used as the model for the woman who symbolizes the French Republic. Vive la France!

To be honest, her nude scene isn't even the best one in this film. But, dude, she's Laetitia Casta!


 

 2

Monica Bellucci in Irreversible

(7.3 at IMDb)

Monica Bellucci in Malena

(7.4 at IMDb)

Irreversible's 7.3 at IMDb is misleading. It's effective enough, but it's a multi-lingual art film told in reverse, and an unpleasant one at that, so 99 viewers of 100 will find to be utterly unwatchable.

Except of course for the fact that Monica Bellucci is stark naked (top right).

If you want to see her take off her clothes in a more traditional and accessible type of movie, watch Malena (bottom right), which is one of the best from the superb craftsman Giuseppe Tornatore.


Film Reviews (Irreversible ... Malena)

1

Paz Vega in Sex and Lucia

(7.4 at IMDb)

Writer/director Julio Medem said: "After the loss of her long-time boyfriend, she seeks refuge on a quiet, secluded Mediterranean island. There, bathed in an atmosphere of fresh air and dazzling sun, Lucía begins to discover the dark corners of her past relationship, as if they were forbidden passages of a novel which the author now, from afar, allows her to read."

If he says so ... I had no idea what was goin' on.

But Paz looked great, even on digital video.


 
     
     
     

Actresses nominated for major awards

5

Laura Linney in Maze

(6.4 at IMDb)

Linney didn't get an Oscar nomination for this particular film, but she has been nominated for three Oscars in other films, so she definitely belongs in this group.

And the nudity here absolutely rates among the best of the decade, perhaps the best in the Ginger League.

4

Salma Hayek in Frida

(7.4 at IMDb)

Nominated as Best Actress for this very film.

Her nudity in this film also earned her second place in our 2002 poll for the best nude performance. Salma has finished second twice, and in each of those years she narrowly lost to one of my top four of the decade (Heather Graham in Killing Me Softly and Gretchen Mol in The Notorious Bettie Page). If Frida and Ask the Dust had been released in different years, Salma might well be a two-time champion! 

3

Kate Winslet in The Reader

(7.7 at IMDb)

Nudity in the film. Even more left on the cutting room floor! (But presented on the DVD.)

I don't think that any other actress in history has combined acting awards and nudity like Kate. Kate won the Best Actress Oscar for this very performance, and has also been nominated for five other acting Oscars. She also received an Oscar nomination for Iris, which also could have made this list.

2

Halle Berry in Monster's Ball

(7.2 at IMDb)

 

Halle is the only actress to win Best Actress and Best Nude Scene in the same year. What's more, she also had the second best nude scene that same year!

1

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Secretary

(7.1 at IMDb)

This is one kinky film! Not many other mainstream actresses would even have considered taking this role.

Maggie didn't get an Oscar nomination for this role, but her characterization did earn her a Golden Globe nomination, one of two she has merited in her career.

 

     
     
     

Best of the millennium

8 real actresses doing full frontal nudity

8

Alexandra Kingston in Essex Boys

(5.9 at IMDb)

If you've watched ER and wondered what Dr. Corday looks like naked, here's your answer: fantastic.

 

7

Emily Mortimer in Lovely and Amazing

(6.8 at IMDb)

There is something very special, very vulnerable about Emily's nudity in this film. She plays an insecure aspiring actress and at one point she stands naked in the light and asks a more experienced performer to critique her body. He managed to find plenty of flaws, but I like her just fine the way she is.

 

6

Ashley Judd in Bug

(6.0 at IMDb)

Ashley is no stranger to nudity, and had even done full-frontal scenes before this film, but there was nothing in her mainstream career that led us to predict that she, age 38 and safely elevated to stardom, would do scenes like this in a movie like this. It's the kind of weird, low-budget arthouse film that David Lynch might find "a little out there." Surprisingly, it was directed by 70-year-old William Friedkin, who was nominated for two "Best Director" Oscars back in the early 70s, winning one for The French Connection.

 

5

Wei Tang in Lust, Caution

(7.7 at IMDb)

I have to love it when a director who is truly great at visual imagery decides to load up a film with female nudity. Ang Lee can compete with anyone when it comes to the visual poetry of his films, and Wei Tang is one of his greatest sonnets.

 

4

Heather Graham in Killing Me Softly

(5.2 at IMDb)

... or as I called it at the time, "Shakespeare in Lust," since it featured Shakespeare and Rollergirl goin' at it constantly. Our panel voted this the top nude scene of 2002.

The British critics ripped this film apart so mercilessly that it was never released in North American theaters. To this day it remains one of the few films rated a perfect zero at Rotten Tomatoes. Zero? For a film with Heather Graham naked constantly? Does the SAT exam for film critic school require an 800 in gayness?

 

3

Caroline Dhavernas in The Tulse Luper Suitcases

(6.7 at IMDb)

The other three performances in my top four were the top nude scenes of their years, but this was not. Yet it nearly matches the top two in every important way: degree of explicitness, duration of nudity, good lighting, beauty of the actress. The only thing that kept this from being a number one finisher is that a TV show named Wonderfalls did not become a hit despite lavish critical praise for its scripts and its fresh-faced star, Ms Dhavernas. If she had been a big star as of December 2004, this nudity would have won going away. Of course if she had been a big star, she might not have done such scenes, not even for the eccentric genius Peter Greenaway.

But I like to think she would have.

2

Gretchen Mol in The Notorious Bettie Page

(6.7 at IMDb)

A biopic featuring the magnificent Gretchen Mol as nude model Bettie Page? Cut me a slice of that! The Vanity Fair editor who called Gretchen "the next big thing" back in 1998 should have been right. She should have been a superstar. And for those of us who love beautiful film nudity, she already is.

Our panel chose this as the #1 nude scene of 2006 in a neck-and-neck race with Salma Hayek in Ask the Dust.

 

 

1

Eva Green in The Dreamers

(7.1 at IMDb)

She was young and had never done a nude scene before. She was part of a famous acting family. She has an incredible body, and showed every inch of it in good light. She was naked for a good portion of the film's running time. The nudity was both erotic and creative. And the whole thing was filmed by the masterful Bertolucci.

The result: this was the runaway winner for the best nude performance of 2004, and it's my choice as the nude performance of the decade.


 

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